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Today I awoke to the gnawing pain in my bladder for the 8th day. I am at a low point. The pain from the UTI, migraines, jaw and leg infection over the past week have finally took their toll.
My flesh has always struggled to praise God in the midst of physical pain. It seems that this has been my "thorn" throughout life, and one I have often wondered "Why?" Since we cannot choose our sufferings, I have tried to take things as they come with grace and reliance upon my Savior. I have failed many times though, in the face of pain.
I awoke this morning to fear that this infection would set off my bladder condition again to the point where I was at age 19-22 yrs. A point where a young dance teacher was reduced to lying in bed most days,and the only place I was able to sleep was in a hot bath. I lost quality of life and almost hope. There was no medication available that could ease the type of pain I was experiencing. I tried all kids of natural remedies,but nothing worked.
Anthony was young too, and the circumstances he found himself in,left him questioning also. Life seemed far from fair as he worked hard to pay for my medical bills,etc.... We were unable to get quality care because we couldn't afford insurance through his work. Anthony was the one person who got me though each day because I just wanted to go home to Heaven - where there is no more pain or suffering. We weren't always Christ-like in our behavior. Both of us failed many times over this period in our lives, but that is a story for another day.
In early 2000(I believe - it is hard to remember dates now because I was too sick to journal during this time) I found relief, unexpectedly, from a anti-depressant a psychiatrist happened to put me on. From there I finally got a formal diagnosis of Interstitial Cystitis and Lupus and cluster headaches(affectionately called suicide headaches by the people who get them.) The lining of my bladder had deteriorated and I had ulcers,and had had an untreatable UTI infection over the course of 4-5 years. I was elated that we could finally get to work on treating my condition.
From there, after over 2 more yrs. of medical treatment I found Garden of Life products. I followed the protocol for Lupus in Jordan Reuben's book -Patient Heal Thyself- I also drastically changed my diet. After 3 mo. I started to feel better and blood tests revealed that the Lupus had gone into remission. I have stayed in remission since 2003. Although my bladder will never heal,unless God chooses to heal it, I.C. pain has been controlled with Elavil taken daily. I also have been able to greatly reduce the amount I have to take for it to be effective. I am so thankful for that medication!
I still do not understand God's timing, as far as when He chose to take away my pain. It is through bitter tears that I remember where I have come from. Anthony says it made me a better person, but that can be tough to swallow!
Please remember to pray for me to recover from this UTI without it sending me into another bad bout of I.C. My tendency is to start to get paranoid and think the worst will happen, but in those times I have to change my thought patterns by taking in God's Word. I am still waiting to hear back from the lab about the culture that sent out last Mon. I am resistant to so many antibiotics and I don't think this one is working - judging from my pain level. Pray that no further damage would be done to my bladder and that I can quickly and effectively get rid of the infection. I am anxious to get back to the place where I can care for my family - I have been pretty useless around here! Pray for Anthony to have some relief from his pain too - we are quite a pair now! He is counting down the hours until Tuesday morning when he can get that gauze and opturater out of his mouth!
My flesh has always struggled to praise God in the midst of physical pain. It seems that this has been my "thorn" throughout life, and one I have often wondered "Why?" Since we cannot choose our sufferings, I have tried to take things as they come with grace and reliance upon my Savior. I have failed many times though, in the face of pain.
I awoke this morning to fear that this infection would set off my bladder condition again to the point where I was at age 19-22 yrs. A point where a young dance teacher was reduced to lying in bed most days,and the only place I was able to sleep was in a hot bath. I lost quality of life and almost hope. There was no medication available that could ease the type of pain I was experiencing. I tried all kids of natural remedies,but nothing worked.
Anthony was young too, and the circumstances he found himself in,left him questioning also. Life seemed far from fair as he worked hard to pay for my medical bills,etc.... We were unable to get quality care because we couldn't afford insurance through his work. Anthony was the one person who got me though each day because I just wanted to go home to Heaven - where there is no more pain or suffering. We weren't always Christ-like in our behavior. Both of us failed many times over this period in our lives, but that is a story for another day.
In early 2000(I believe - it is hard to remember dates now because I was too sick to journal during this time) I found relief, unexpectedly, from a anti-depressant a psychiatrist happened to put me on. From there I finally got a formal diagnosis of Interstitial Cystitis and Lupus and cluster headaches(affectionately called suicide headaches by the people who get them.) The lining of my bladder had deteriorated and I had ulcers,and had had an untreatable UTI infection over the course of 4-5 years. I was elated that we could finally get to work on treating my condition.
From there, after over 2 more yrs. of medical treatment I found Garden of Life products. I followed the protocol for Lupus in Jordan Reuben's book -Patient Heal Thyself- I also drastically changed my diet. After 3 mo. I started to feel better and blood tests revealed that the Lupus had gone into remission. I have stayed in remission since 2003. Although my bladder will never heal,unless God chooses to heal it, I.C. pain has been controlled with Elavil taken daily. I also have been able to greatly reduce the amount I have to take for it to be effective. I am so thankful for that medication!
I still do not understand God's timing, as far as when He chose to take away my pain. It is through bitter tears that I remember where I have come from. Anthony says it made me a better person, but that can be tough to swallow!
Please remember to pray for me to recover from this UTI without it sending me into another bad bout of I.C. My tendency is to start to get paranoid and think the worst will happen, but in those times I have to change my thought patterns by taking in God's Word. I am still waiting to hear back from the lab about the culture that sent out last Mon. I am resistant to so many antibiotics and I don't think this one is working - judging from my pain level. Pray that no further damage would be done to my bladder and that I can quickly and effectively get rid of the infection. I am anxious to get back to the place where I can care for my family - I have been pretty useless around here! Pray for Anthony to have some relief from his pain too - we are quite a pair now! He is counting down the hours until Tuesday morning when he can get that gauze and opturater out of his mouth!
